Birthday/Christmas Weekend
Friday: Birthday. 32. Chardonnay at 6pm with Bec and SassyJ after a three month hiatus (too long!). Bec’s dog, Ruby, is very cute. Did not enjoy the puppy nipping but she will grow out of that and she calmed down pretty quickly. I know amusing shit was said amidst the personal but all I can remember is that I was talking about one of my activities for the week, which was to compare the Banquet frozen chicken dinner to the Swanson one. The Banquet one is fucking $1.25, it’s hardly even chicken. So many calories and so much sodium. Swanson won, of course.
They bought be gifts, which I didn’t expect. That was really sweet. Huge citrus/cilantro candle, cute green scarf, and a rocker belt.
We ate dinner at Casablanca. Good huge appetizer of all of the Middle Eastern dips, plus pita. The potato salad was particularly good. Eating while buzzed is fun, the food tastes so good, although it’s not good on the stomach. Fucking holiday bagel is currently in full effect. Of course, I ordered chicken with almond rice and it came with a salad. It was so much fucking food; I wish they’d charge $4 less and give me less food. A belly dancer clad in red with the bad blonde hair emerged just as we were about to leave. As she stood mere feet away from me, with her back towards me, I became mesmerized. How she moved her lower abdomen/back muscles, so quickly, back and forth, so in sync. Of course my friends had to tell her that it was my birthday so gyrated close to me. I attempted to mimic her for Bec and SassyJ’s amusement but my muscles need some more training! That shit hurt! Some little girl with a big pudgy gut was sitting at the bar, rising up in her chair, also attempting some belly dancer moves. Such a pudgy little gut she had!
Afterwards, I went to Foundation to wait to be picked up and transported for drinks down at The Palm, where my good friend’s band mate thoughtfully purchased me a birthday glass of wine. TC, E., WCZ, and DiNO and I had a tard-a-riffic time; E. brought me sweet, moist cupcakes, which I had mentioned months earlier and they bought me a magazine subscription, which was very nice.
Told my story of the roughneck running down icy Center street in a dress coat and dress shoes, running off his anger, watch out, roughneck running! A good mellow time though I was feeling really hot and sleepy, wish I could have had more of a crazy buzz. All and all in was a very acceptable birthday considering the last minute plan change; missing The Muppet Movie at midnight did not disappoint me.
* **
Christmas Eve. Oh god, as usual, an evening much shouting and vulgarity, even from Grandma. She told some story a lady once told her, goes something like this:
Lady: Well my mother tells me she is going to the doctor for a pap smear.
And I say mom, you’re 82 years old, why would you need to go for a pap smear?
Lady’s mom: Well I could still use a good tickle you know!
Or something insane like that. Who the hell knows how that got brought up! I go into the dining room and there sits a stack of movies from my uncles; all share the theme of RATS. My 81 year old grandma has been watching insane Rat flicks like Willard. Jesus fucking christ.
So much extra food this year too. My mom made a HUGE FUCKING VAT of tuna fish salad. It’s a favorite of mine, with the celery and the pickles, but fucking shit, look at the size of this dish!
Sadly, between the 7 of us we nearly finished the shit off in two days, well ok we ate a little tiny bit over half of it. No more mayonnaise for me for weeks. I ate 2 little slivers of the cow and felt guilty but I just wanted to try it. I feel bad enough eating the birds. I have to deal with this flesh consumption thing. And let’s see, pistachio pudding with fruit and nuts, tons of sugar cookies, pumpkin pie that I made, olives and pickles and celery, and chocolate candies and nuts. Christmas is too disgustingly gluttonous!
More vulgar jokes, one was a sucking dick innuendo that I even got involved in, too embarrassing to repeat here, then my step dad says something about using the tongue and I said well now I think you are talking about a woman, and he turned red! Lots of jokes with my mom and her inarticulateness. Pictures of my uncle drinking his Jack Daniels.
Opened up gifts at home, got my laptop computer, some extra stuff, my casserole dish. They wrapped up some more little stuff for me which was nice. My mom didn’t like the simulated opal necklace my step dad got her, not unusual. She can be so ruthless! Liked my seafood and CHICKEN cookbooks a lot also. And my popcorn popper. CHICKEN CHICKEN CHICKEN! Wanna make fried chicken!
Christmas day I was crabby. Ready to not be sitting and eating bad food anymore. Forced a Budweiser down as soon as I got to my grandma’s to thwart the arrival of bitchy Jen and thankfully was successful. Was not at all interested in hearing the entire family scream the television set due to the Packers’ ineptitude. Fucking *!(*U(*U ! yells my mom! Shit sucking something yells my aunt! Over and over! Blelelele you son of a gun! From my grandma, with a few mumbled murmurings thrown in by my uncle and step dad. Stupid fucking losing Packers.
In the last minute or so of the game, while we were playing Texas Hold Em (my step dad had lost his five dollars by then), the Packers got the ball! If they scored they could tie this game against the Bears! And Favre threw the ball! IT went far! Someone caught it! He ran and ran. My mom beat her hand on the table so hard her wine glass toppled over and she covered my grandma’s new corral covered outfit my other aunt sent in cranberry apple wine! And boy did my mom fly into the other room before my grandma got a good look at how much wine she spilled. The game ended with Favre throwing an interception. Damn he needs to retire.
Friday: Birthday. 32. Chardonnay at 6pm with Bec and SassyJ after a three month hiatus (too long!). Bec’s dog, Ruby, is very cute. Did not enjoy the puppy nipping but she will grow out of that and she calmed down pretty quickly. I know amusing shit was said amidst the personal but all I can remember is that I was talking about one of my activities for the week, which was to compare the Banquet frozen chicken dinner to the Swanson one. The Banquet one is fucking $1.25, it’s hardly even chicken. So many calories and so much sodium. Swanson won, of course.
They bought be gifts, which I didn’t expect. That was really sweet. Huge citrus/cilantro candle, cute green scarf, and a rocker belt.
We ate dinner at Casablanca. Good huge appetizer of all of the Middle Eastern dips, plus pita. The potato salad was particularly good. Eating while buzzed is fun, the food tastes so good, although it’s not good on the stomach. Fucking holiday bagel is currently in full effect. Of course, I ordered chicken with almond rice and it came with a salad. It was so much fucking food; I wish they’d charge $4 less and give me less food. A belly dancer clad in red with the bad blonde hair emerged just as we were about to leave. As she stood mere feet away from me, with her back towards me, I became mesmerized. How she moved her lower abdomen/back muscles, so quickly, back and forth, so in sync. Of course my friends had to tell her that it was my birthday so gyrated close to me. I attempted to mimic her for Bec and SassyJ’s amusement but my muscles need some more training! That shit hurt! Some little girl with a big pudgy gut was sitting at the bar, rising up in her chair, also attempting some belly dancer moves. Such a pudgy little gut she had!
Afterwards, I went to Foundation to wait to be picked up and transported for drinks down at The Palm, where my good friend’s band mate thoughtfully purchased me a birthday glass of wine. TC, E., WCZ, and DiNO and I had a tard-a-riffic time; E. brought me sweet, moist cupcakes, which I had mentioned months earlier and they bought me a magazine subscription, which was very nice.
Told my story of the roughneck running down icy Center street in a dress coat and dress shoes, running off his anger, watch out, roughneck running! A good mellow time though I was feeling really hot and sleepy, wish I could have had more of a crazy buzz. All and all in was a very acceptable birthday considering the last minute plan change; missing The Muppet Movie at midnight did not disappoint me.
* **
Christmas Eve. Oh god, as usual, an evening much shouting and vulgarity, even from Grandma. She told some story a lady once told her, goes something like this:
Lady: Well my mother tells me she is going to the doctor for a pap smear.
And I say mom, you’re 82 years old, why would you need to go for a pap smear?
Lady’s mom: Well I could still use a good tickle you know!
Or something insane like that. Who the hell knows how that got brought up! I go into the dining room and there sits a stack of movies from my uncles; all share the theme of RATS. My 81 year old grandma has been watching insane Rat flicks like Willard. Jesus fucking christ.
So much extra food this year too. My mom made a HUGE FUCKING VAT of tuna fish salad. It’s a favorite of mine, with the celery and the pickles, but fucking shit, look at the size of this dish!
Sadly, between the 7 of us we nearly finished the shit off in two days, well ok we ate a little tiny bit over half of it. No more mayonnaise for me for weeks. I ate 2 little slivers of the cow and felt guilty but I just wanted to try it. I feel bad enough eating the birds. I have to deal with this flesh consumption thing. And let’s see, pistachio pudding with fruit and nuts, tons of sugar cookies, pumpkin pie that I made, olives and pickles and celery, and chocolate candies and nuts. Christmas is too disgustingly gluttonous!
More vulgar jokes, one was a sucking dick innuendo that I even got involved in, too embarrassing to repeat here, then my step dad says something about using the tongue and I said well now I think you are talking about a woman, and he turned red! Lots of jokes with my mom and her inarticulateness. Pictures of my uncle drinking his Jack Daniels.
Opened up gifts at home, got my laptop computer, some extra stuff, my casserole dish. They wrapped up some more little stuff for me which was nice. My mom didn’t like the simulated opal necklace my step dad got her, not unusual. She can be so ruthless! Liked my seafood and CHICKEN cookbooks a lot also. And my popcorn popper. CHICKEN CHICKEN CHICKEN! Wanna make fried chicken!
Christmas day I was crabby. Ready to not be sitting and eating bad food anymore. Forced a Budweiser down as soon as I got to my grandma’s to thwart the arrival of bitchy Jen and thankfully was successful. Was not at all interested in hearing the entire family scream the television set due to the Packers’ ineptitude. Fucking *!(*U(*U ! yells my mom! Shit sucking something yells my aunt! Over and over! Blelelele you son of a gun! From my grandma, with a few mumbled murmurings thrown in by my uncle and step dad. Stupid fucking losing Packers.
In the last minute or so of the game, while we were playing Texas Hold Em (my step dad had lost his five dollars by then), the Packers got the ball! If they scored they could tie this game against the Bears! And Favre threw the ball! IT went far! Someone caught it! He ran and ran. My mom beat her hand on the table so hard her wine glass toppled over and she covered my grandma’s new corral covered outfit my other aunt sent in cranberry apple wine! And boy did my mom fly into the other room before my grandma got a good look at how much wine she spilled. The game ended with Favre throwing an interception. Damn he needs to retire.
posted by Jen Threat at
6:56 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home