Penises, etc
This weekend was busy for my brain. The first thing I want to talk about is penises.
I have encountered three in the past month. They shall be referred to hereafter as Penis A, Penis B, and Penis C.
Penis A belongs to someone who probably wouldnt be too comfortable with me writing about him here so I wont say much. That experience was basically just a drunken, exhausted, hours of foreplay quick fuck that I basically am forgetting about for sake of preserving whatever friendship I have with the owner of this penis. It had been a really long time since Id played with a penis before this night, my choice, though, so it was awkward for me. Awkward and alcohol induced. I get really passive when I am tired and drunk and really dont give a shit about whatever penis Im encountering. Ill lay there and let the guy feel me up forever and thats it. I dont like that I get like that, but fuck its 6am and Im drunk. Fuck! If you get me while Im a certain level of buzzed and not as tired, thats another story. But this penis interaction was so blurry. I was like, is this thing completely hard? Itd just been so long. Thered been some make-outs but no penis exposure, forever. Awkward! At least it got me back in the groovea bit. And of course its nice to be fondled for a long time.
Penis B belongs to someone I care about a lot, someone who really gets me, someone I didnt allow myself to be attracted to until very recently. He surprised me awhile back with his intuitiveness. He can sense how I feel sometimes, apparently, and he actually cares, and asks me whats up, and presses me if I give the stock reply: Nothing. Most guys dont do that with me because they want to hear me talk for as short of period of time as possible. He understands that I care about him too, hell tell me things he wont tell everyone, I think. His arm around me feels so amazingly good. I was confused about how I feel and now Im not, but I cant reach him, and its very very frustrating. I met his penis after a long afternoon/evening of drinking. I did not want to drink all day with him. I wanted to be chill and talk to him about how I felt. There was so space for such a talk. We were with his buddies, drinking German beer, then that 180 proof shot. I was all over him and after he drove his friend to St Francis and all the way back to my place on the Northside, it was on, briefly, and I was a lot less inhibited. But I had my period. So it didnt happen. Im glad, because I dont want just to get drunk and fuck this guy. I didnt want to just get drunk and fuck the previous one, either. FUCK YOU ALCOHOL. But I cant get a hold of him and my head hurts, and its not personal, but it sucks. We are both affection starved, maybe on different levels and definitely for different reasons, but I think it could be good, even just for a little while.
Penis C. Oh christ. I could write a whole essay/story/rant about this guyThe third makeout drunk in a fucking alley on Friday. Dumb, dumb dumb. We both know by now that we just arentwe just arent supposed to fool around. I think we just irritate each other. The first time I instigated it not really thinking about it, buzzed out on vodka, and it was very exciting for me, good getting jacked up against the side of a house, drunken frisky makeout (apparently I was very bitey that night, he just informed Friday, a year after the first makeout occurred---the owner of Penis B does not like biting but I might just have to bite him again, if I can, so he can pull me hair some more). The second time was like six or seven months later, just for his convenience, just to kill some time before his job. That pissed me off. I dont like lacking control. I let him feel me up and kissed him a little but I didnt want anything else. Also I just wasnt feeling hot. I didnt think wed ever grope each other again and was ok with that, because we had dinner a month or two later and things finally felt more normal between us, our interactions felt more friend-like, which I wanted.
But then, Friday. MORE ALCOHOL! Whiskey with seltzer and lime. Fucking good shit! After the Eagles of Death Metal showlocal bar, met some new women who were cool and put up with my shrieks for a few hours. Penis C was there and we engaged in some verbal sparring. We have such a contentious relationship. A bit more than acquaintances, not quite friends, really, justodd. I could feel that he might pull one of his moves on me again, and I needed the distraction and I guess with him Im just so curious. Like are we gonna get it on or what? Like, properly--and properly for me means fucking somewhere with walls--not in a yard or alley, especially not an alley (ok maybe a secluded, safe yard would work if it was really in the heat of the moment but this was not, this was a distraction for both of us). Im not starring in some late night USA up all night movie. I dont think Im prudish, either. Maybe he thought I wanted to stay the night, or have him stay the night when I said you need to take me upstairs or come over? I didnt specify that I didnt care about that. But whys all that gotta be on me? Im so sick of having to be responsible for everything when I talk to a guy. Anyway, he wavered between thats too predictable and I have a wedding in the morning. He feels good and all, and his penis, when I finally allowed him to whip it out, was nice and soft, but he is just one of those guys who wants things the way he wants it, when he wants it, and that just pisses me off. Being bent over the hood of my car is slightly hot, but also uncomfortable and really Im just gonna be inhibited in an alley with detector lights shining in my eyes! I should have just gone home. I am a little mad that we couldnt really get crazy in a way where Id be comfortable. But just a little, I dont really care anymore. About his penisthis was just another alcohol fueled experience. I just need to feel a bit more special, I think, even if its just for one night, three hours, six hours, whatever.
So. Clearly, I am tired of only making out/fondling penises/being fondled when Im drunk. God its got to get better than this. Speaking of sex though, Eagles of Death Metal are good rock--and the singer is sexy. The bassist (I thinkBrian?) came to Foundation and was there when me and Penis C were in the bar. Brian signed a girls ass. I said hi. He was very cordial and even introduced himself to me.
My weekend was so crazy. Friday has so many layers, just in concern to all of the people I ran into. My girl Jbean and I got to rock out finally after so long. Too bad we didnt have more time. But she had a guest and had to get home, and I was getting tired. I only planned on meeting Cheezit for a little bit (he told me that fucking bullshit bird probably attacked because it thought my hair looked like a squirrel. Step up from a rat, I guess!). But it happens. Saw all these people from the past, Milwaukee characters, BV ladies, people from UWM who I just dont think like me very much. Maybe because I screamed so much in class. It makes me sort of sad, but I dont see what I can do about it.
Saturday I was so whiskey hungover but I helped transport three wonderful cats from a bombed out bomb shelter apartment in the ghetto down to the southside pretty quickly after I awoke. That neighborhood irritates me, the ghetto one. There a bunch of nice houses in it, and I could tell a lot of the people are just average people, yet my friends were greeted with a drug raid and cops in riot gear. Not too sad that I missed that.
I went to Riversplash that night and it was awful. I dont know why I think I can stomach events like that. The music is just so bad. And the Midwestern yahoos and their apparel choices. Im a judgmental bitch, I know, but what an eyesore the crowd was, in most part. These women in their unflattering tight skirts and high heels. Why dress up when you are walking on beer sticky hot concrete all day? So dumb. Men with mullets. Muscle guys. Yuck! Greasy hair. Ew! And that patented late afternoon beer buzz dance waltz those people do. Their hand extended, Miller or Miller Lite spilling out over the rim of the plastic cup as they sway to a Kinks cover. So, so hard to watch. It was kind of cool to see the one lone roller derby girl getting in some practice, though. My friends friend was nice, at least, another teacher with good politics. I just cant go to something like hungover and hungry again.
Okay so I am calm about Penis B right now, but that probably wont last long. I think I will just try to focus on my curriculum and course construction class and beginning to prep for teaching this week. I still havent ordered books for my three classes at the one school. No teaching during summer numbs my brain. ITS THE ALCOHOL! Why cant I grow the fuck UP?
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Friday, June 02, 2006
fuck that bird!!! for real!
yesterday the same kind of bird scraped my scalp with its nasty lice-ridden bird claws again. could it be the same bird? fuck that fucking bird for real, molly! it flew off and perched above me so i threw some sticks at it, not my ipod, because i guess i dont want to break my ipod. so today im gonna go bike to big bay and take my walk there. i will totally freak if a bird fucks with me three days in a row, especially since it's 6-6-6 day next tues. i am not about to star in omen part 7 remade version fucking birds fucking with me!
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Thursday, June 01, 2006
fuck you bird
yesterday i was walking by the lake and this red winged blackbird flew over my head and sunk its bird claws into my hair. then everytime i went back up it flew over my head, too close, again and i had to run! i am NOT one to run from birds and rodents; i generally like them a lot, especially birds. maybe it was the lavendar lotion? in any case, that bird better not fuck with me today because im sick and ill knock it out with my ipod.
This weekend was busy for my brain. The first thing I want to talk about is penises.
I have encountered three in the past month. They shall be referred to hereafter as Penis A, Penis B, and Penis C.
Penis A belongs to someone who probably wouldnt be too comfortable with me writing about him here so I wont say much. That experience was basically just a drunken, exhausted, hours of foreplay quick fuck that I basically am forgetting about for sake of preserving whatever friendship I have with the owner of this penis. It had been a really long time since Id played with a penis before this night, my choice, though, so it was awkward for me. Awkward and alcohol induced. I get really passive when I am tired and drunk and really dont give a shit about whatever penis Im encountering. Ill lay there and let the guy feel me up forever and thats it. I dont like that I get like that, but fuck its 6am and Im drunk. Fuck! If you get me while Im a certain level of buzzed and not as tired, thats another story. But this penis interaction was so blurry. I was like, is this thing completely hard? Itd just been so long. Thered been some make-outs but no penis exposure, forever. Awkward! At least it got me back in the groovea bit. And of course its nice to be fondled for a long time.
Penis B belongs to someone I care about a lot, someone who really gets me, someone I didnt allow myself to be attracted to until very recently. He surprised me awhile back with his intuitiveness. He can sense how I feel sometimes, apparently, and he actually cares, and asks me whats up, and presses me if I give the stock reply: Nothing. Most guys dont do that with me because they want to hear me talk for as short of period of time as possible. He understands that I care about him too, hell tell me things he wont tell everyone, I think. His arm around me feels so amazingly good. I was confused about how I feel and now Im not, but I cant reach him, and its very very frustrating. I met his penis after a long afternoon/evening of drinking. I did not want to drink all day with him. I wanted to be chill and talk to him about how I felt. There was so space for such a talk. We were with his buddies, drinking German beer, then that 180 proof shot. I was all over him and after he drove his friend to St Francis and all the way back to my place on the Northside, it was on, briefly, and I was a lot less inhibited. But I had my period. So it didnt happen. Im glad, because I dont want just to get drunk and fuck this guy. I didnt want to just get drunk and fuck the previous one, either. FUCK YOU ALCOHOL. But I cant get a hold of him and my head hurts, and its not personal, but it sucks. We are both affection starved, maybe on different levels and definitely for different reasons, but I think it could be good, even just for a little while.
Penis C. Oh christ. I could write a whole essay/story/rant about this guyThe third makeout drunk in a fucking alley on Friday. Dumb, dumb dumb. We both know by now that we just arentwe just arent supposed to fool around. I think we just irritate each other. The first time I instigated it not really thinking about it, buzzed out on vodka, and it was very exciting for me, good getting jacked up against the side of a house, drunken frisky makeout (apparently I was very bitey that night, he just informed Friday, a year after the first makeout occurred---the owner of Penis B does not like biting but I might just have to bite him again, if I can, so he can pull me hair some more). The second time was like six or seven months later, just for his convenience, just to kill some time before his job. That pissed me off. I dont like lacking control. I let him feel me up and kissed him a little but I didnt want anything else. Also I just wasnt feeling hot. I didnt think wed ever grope each other again and was ok with that, because we had dinner a month or two later and things finally felt more normal between us, our interactions felt more friend-like, which I wanted.
But then, Friday. MORE ALCOHOL! Whiskey with seltzer and lime. Fucking good shit! After the Eagles of Death Metal showlocal bar, met some new women who were cool and put up with my shrieks for a few hours. Penis C was there and we engaged in some verbal sparring. We have such a contentious relationship. A bit more than acquaintances, not quite friends, really, justodd. I could feel that he might pull one of his moves on me again, and I needed the distraction and I guess with him Im just so curious. Like are we gonna get it on or what? Like, properly--and properly for me means fucking somewhere with walls--not in a yard or alley, especially not an alley (ok maybe a secluded, safe yard would work if it was really in the heat of the moment but this was not, this was a distraction for both of us). Im not starring in some late night USA up all night movie. I dont think Im prudish, either. Maybe he thought I wanted to stay the night, or have him stay the night when I said you need to take me upstairs or come over? I didnt specify that I didnt care about that. But whys all that gotta be on me? Im so sick of having to be responsible for everything when I talk to a guy. Anyway, he wavered between thats too predictable and I have a wedding in the morning. He feels good and all, and his penis, when I finally allowed him to whip it out, was nice and soft, but he is just one of those guys who wants things the way he wants it, when he wants it, and that just pisses me off. Being bent over the hood of my car is slightly hot, but also uncomfortable and really Im just gonna be inhibited in an alley with detector lights shining in my eyes! I should have just gone home. I am a little mad that we couldnt really get crazy in a way where Id be comfortable. But just a little, I dont really care anymore. About his penisthis was just another alcohol fueled experience. I just need to feel a bit more special, I think, even if its just for one night, three hours, six hours, whatever.
So. Clearly, I am tired of only making out/fondling penises/being fondled when Im drunk. God its got to get better than this. Speaking of sex though, Eagles of Death Metal are good rock--and the singer is sexy. The bassist (I thinkBrian?) came to Foundation and was there when me and Penis C were in the bar. Brian signed a girls ass. I said hi. He was very cordial and even introduced himself to me.
My weekend was so crazy. Friday has so many layers, just in concern to all of the people I ran into. My girl Jbean and I got to rock out finally after so long. Too bad we didnt have more time. But she had a guest and had to get home, and I was getting tired. I only planned on meeting Cheezit for a little bit (he told me that fucking bullshit bird probably attacked because it thought my hair looked like a squirrel. Step up from a rat, I guess!). But it happens. Saw all these people from the past, Milwaukee characters, BV ladies, people from UWM who I just dont think like me very much. Maybe because I screamed so much in class. It makes me sort of sad, but I dont see what I can do about it.
Saturday I was so whiskey hungover but I helped transport three wonderful cats from a bombed out bomb shelter apartment in the ghetto down to the southside pretty quickly after I awoke. That neighborhood irritates me, the ghetto one. There a bunch of nice houses in it, and I could tell a lot of the people are just average people, yet my friends were greeted with a drug raid and cops in riot gear. Not too sad that I missed that.
I went to Riversplash that night and it was awful. I dont know why I think I can stomach events like that. The music is just so bad. And the Midwestern yahoos and their apparel choices. Im a judgmental bitch, I know, but what an eyesore the crowd was, in most part. These women in their unflattering tight skirts and high heels. Why dress up when you are walking on beer sticky hot concrete all day? So dumb. Men with mullets. Muscle guys. Yuck! Greasy hair. Ew! And that patented late afternoon beer buzz dance waltz those people do. Their hand extended, Miller or Miller Lite spilling out over the rim of the plastic cup as they sway to a Kinks cover. So, so hard to watch. It was kind of cool to see the one lone roller derby girl getting in some practice, though. My friends friend was nice, at least, another teacher with good politics. I just cant go to something like hungover and hungry again.
Okay so I am calm about Penis B right now, but that probably wont last long. I think I will just try to focus on my curriculum and course construction class and beginning to prep for teaching this week. I still havent ordered books for my three classes at the one school. No teaching during summer numbs my brain. ITS THE ALCOHOL! Why cant I grow the fuck UP?
8:51 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Friday, June 02, 2006
fuck that bird!!! for real!
yesterday the same kind of bird scraped my scalp with its nasty lice-ridden bird claws again. could it be the same bird? fuck that fucking bird for real, molly! it flew off and perched above me so i threw some sticks at it, not my ipod, because i guess i dont want to break my ipod. so today im gonna go bike to big bay and take my walk there. i will totally freak if a bird fucks with me three days in a row, especially since it's 6-6-6 day next tues. i am not about to star in omen part 7 remade version fucking birds fucking with me!
1:24 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Thursday, June 01, 2006
fuck you bird
yesterday i was walking by the lake and this red winged blackbird flew over my head and sunk its bird claws into my hair. then everytime i went back up it flew over my head, too close, again and i had to run! i am NOT one to run from birds and rodents; i generally like them a lot, especially birds. maybe it was the lavendar lotion? in any case, that bird better not fuck with me today because im sick and ill knock it out with my ipod.
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