A few things.
1. Fuck a Ph.D. I want a life. But that doesn't mean I can not/will not do important work. Adjuncting is such a perilous profession, but my being in the classroom means something to my students. I can not adjunct for more than a few more years, because I, well, I need to pay off loans and bills and can't do it on an adjunct's salary. But today, when I saw three students in a room this morning and later a fourth, they all gave me such a response. Having students thank me for working their asses IS so rewarding. I don't need the emotional, physical, financial, and psychological stress that comes along with earning a Ph.D. I don't want to take those fucking prelims and I don't want a committee monitoring the way in which I write a book, even though I'm sure a lot of the feedback would be constructive. Last night I filled out my tranfer credit form, had it all ready to send out, stamp in place. Then I leafed through the 2005-2006 Graduate Student Handbook. I once again digested the requirements. That foreign language requirement would be a bitch, too, and unnecessary for someone focusing on composition theory and practice. I became engulfed by the same feeling that's washed upon me every fucking time I think about prelims, orals, and the dissertation defense: Panic and revulsion. That was it. I've had enough. Now I have to work hard in a different way. I must learn how to better work with developmental writers, whose psyches are so much more fragile than 101 students', whose are also quite fragile, so that tells you how really very fragile the self esteem of basic writers is. I must assess my successes in the classroom and document them diligently so I can compile a portfolio to present to future potential employers. I must learn more about how to make use of technology in the classroom, which I will be doing by taking two two-day seminars this summer. I want to earn some kind of inexpensive certificate that would certify me to teach ESL and/or ABE courses. I just need more patience, more confidence in myself, and above all I need to become more assertive and network more. The upcoming literacy conference will be a good place to practice.
2. I am done grading. WAHOOOOO!!!!!!! About 90% of my 101 students improved immensely and like I mentioned about they even thanked me for working their asses. Some people who were earning low Cs at the beginning left with a B or A. YEAAH!!! I can teach, yeah I can!
3. I have gas. Again. I'm tired of the gas. It's from everything, even vegetables. I have gas less when I eat cheesy carby foods. It's very irritating.
4. I am stiff. I need some more exercise.
5. I was very excited and surprised to discover that the kickass Michelle Tea's latest written work, a novel entitled Rose of No Man's Land, was featured in a March issue of People magazine. The reviewer gave her cute lesbian punk ass three stars too. In People! That is amazing. Her writing always resonates with me and she makes me think I can write real stuff. I need to do that this summer. Less beer, more writing. Yeah! Will go start reading the book now, I think. Here's a link with a lot of info about her:
http://www.purpleglitter.com/michelle_tea/
1. Fuck a Ph.D. I want a life. But that doesn't mean I can not/will not do important work. Adjuncting is such a perilous profession, but my being in the classroom means something to my students. I can not adjunct for more than a few more years, because I, well, I need to pay off loans and bills and can't do it on an adjunct's salary. But today, when I saw three students in a room this morning and later a fourth, they all gave me such a response. Having students thank me for working their asses IS so rewarding. I don't need the emotional, physical, financial, and psychological stress that comes along with earning a Ph.D. I don't want to take those fucking prelims and I don't want a committee monitoring the way in which I write a book, even though I'm sure a lot of the feedback would be constructive. Last night I filled out my tranfer credit form, had it all ready to send out, stamp in place. Then I leafed through the 2005-2006 Graduate Student Handbook. I once again digested the requirements. That foreign language requirement would be a bitch, too, and unnecessary for someone focusing on composition theory and practice. I became engulfed by the same feeling that's washed upon me every fucking time I think about prelims, orals, and the dissertation defense: Panic and revulsion. That was it. I've had enough. Now I have to work hard in a different way. I must learn how to better work with developmental writers, whose psyches are so much more fragile than 101 students', whose are also quite fragile, so that tells you how really very fragile the self esteem of basic writers is. I must assess my successes in the classroom and document them diligently so I can compile a portfolio to present to future potential employers. I must learn more about how to make use of technology in the classroom, which I will be doing by taking two two-day seminars this summer. I want to earn some kind of inexpensive certificate that would certify me to teach ESL and/or ABE courses. I just need more patience, more confidence in myself, and above all I need to become more assertive and network more. The upcoming literacy conference will be a good place to practice.
2. I am done grading. WAHOOOOO!!!!!!! About 90% of my 101 students improved immensely and like I mentioned about they even thanked me for working their asses. Some people who were earning low Cs at the beginning left with a B or A. YEAAH!!! I can teach, yeah I can!
3. I have gas. Again. I'm tired of the gas. It's from everything, even vegetables. I have gas less when I eat cheesy carby foods. It's very irritating.
4. I am stiff. I need some more exercise.
5. I was very excited and surprised to discover that the kickass Michelle Tea's latest written work, a novel entitled Rose of No Man's Land, was featured in a March issue of People magazine. The reviewer gave her cute lesbian punk ass three stars too. In People! That is amazing. Her writing always resonates with me and she makes me think I can write real stuff. I need to do that this summer. Less beer, more writing. Yeah! Will go start reading the book now, I think. Here's a link with a lot of info about her:
http://www.purpleglitter.com/michelle_tea/
posted by Jen Threat at
7:07 PM
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