Similar topic, different day!
The power went out only on my floor of the old, generic building for roughly a half hour and, of course, Antsy American emerged. It is 100 degrees in Wisconsin and all, but my God. I could live in Lebanon for fuck’s sake. I always have to tell myself that. I could live somewhere that’s being bombed, war sanctioned by the USA or Israel, country‘s whose leaders (note: I said LEADERS) are way too selfish, ethnocentric, and power hungry, or I could be homeless, or, shit, I could be pregnant with an HIV positive child, or I could have a rare ailment that causes me to constantly slap myself (I was watching Oprah today). I watched the 5:30 news because I was too lethargic to do much else before my 8:00pm Internet date, and the footage of Lebanon jarred me. I will never, ever understand how powerful politicians can allow such carnage. How can they watch limp bodies being laid upon stretchers, covered with thin sheets or heavy blanket, and think, “Hey well, fuck it, the other side’s not doing things my way, so I guess it’s just too bad for the innocents dying.” I mean really. The only war that has ever made sense to me is World War II, even though it too was atrocious. I can’t stand it. Israel always has to have its way and so does the fucking US of A! But sitting here so privileged with my new a/c blowing chill air on me, loyal, affectionate kitty at my side, food stocked in the refrigerator, car outside the door, parents’ house a half hour south, good friends minutes away, I can’t say that I would trade any of my American conveniences. I just wish I didn’t become so impatient after only being inconvenienced a few moments. We were talking briefly yesterday about today’s “instant gratification society;” that’s what my friend’s lady termed it. Yes I scorn my needs but I am a product of my environment. Super sped up, post postmodernism, where technology rules all, time is money! Money is time! And I need it now or I won’t be happy and I can get it now and those who can get it to me fastest earn the most money. Those who produce it quickly are in the lead. Those who have it first are those with the means, they’re the ones many wish they could be. The media pushes the products in our faces everywhere we turn. Don’t even try to tell me you ignore it, you don’t watch tv or go online. It doesn’t matter. You get gas for you car, you go grocery shop, you leave the fucking house. It surrounds us, it’s in us. Some people are better at resisting the urges, but the pull’s always there, unless of course you live in a small town, a really small town. Forgot to mention sure there’s places you probably can escape. But it’s really not going to happen in any average to large size city. Yep products of our environment. Good to recognize, keep it in check, don’t feel so guilty but don’t get so fully sucked into it. When I do I buy something I can’t afford. Like my $200 Habitual jeans. Because I had to have them, right then and there, instantly, because I wanted to feel good, because I was feeling let down by people, so the consumerist act cleansed me. Dangerous. But I am able to resist such urges very well most times. And now I have another pair of jeans that make me feel sexy sometimes. Man, where I am going with this???
War….I hate our foreign policy. But I don’t want to live anywhere else besides maybe a few cities in Europe or Sydney, NSW, Australia. I like my American conveniences damn it. I don’t want to run through rubble. I don’t want my lame building to be bombed. I’m too privileged. But what can I do? I don’t really have extra money to send to the Red Cross or anything right now, and I don’t know how trustworthy such organizations are, as they seemed to be engaged in some scamming after Katrina. I can self reflect I guess. I can educate myself. I don’t understand Hazzabullah (sp) and I need to find a resource to explain it to me. I have to combat my angst, anxiety, and lethargy. This whole past week has been boozing and socializing and TV watching. I was attempting to shut my brain up. America makes it easier to do nothing than something. That’s the part that’s hardest to resist.
The power went out only on my floor of the old, generic building for roughly a half hour and, of course, Antsy American emerged. It is 100 degrees in Wisconsin and all, but my God. I could live in Lebanon for fuck’s sake. I always have to tell myself that. I could live somewhere that’s being bombed, war sanctioned by the USA or Israel, country‘s whose leaders (note: I said LEADERS) are way too selfish, ethnocentric, and power hungry, or I could be homeless, or, shit, I could be pregnant with an HIV positive child, or I could have a rare ailment that causes me to constantly slap myself (I was watching Oprah today). I watched the 5:30 news because I was too lethargic to do much else before my 8:00pm Internet date, and the footage of Lebanon jarred me. I will never, ever understand how powerful politicians can allow such carnage. How can they watch limp bodies being laid upon stretchers, covered with thin sheets or heavy blanket, and think, “Hey well, fuck it, the other side’s not doing things my way, so I guess it’s just too bad for the innocents dying.” I mean really. The only war that has ever made sense to me is World War II, even though it too was atrocious. I can’t stand it. Israel always has to have its way and so does the fucking US of A! But sitting here so privileged with my new a/c blowing chill air on me, loyal, affectionate kitty at my side, food stocked in the refrigerator, car outside the door, parents’ house a half hour south, good friends minutes away, I can’t say that I would trade any of my American conveniences. I just wish I didn’t become so impatient after only being inconvenienced a few moments. We were talking briefly yesterday about today’s “instant gratification society;” that’s what my friend’s lady termed it. Yes I scorn my needs but I am a product of my environment. Super sped up, post postmodernism, where technology rules all, time is money! Money is time! And I need it now or I won’t be happy and I can get it now and those who can get it to me fastest earn the most money. Those who produce it quickly are in the lead. Those who have it first are those with the means, they’re the ones many wish they could be. The media pushes the products in our faces everywhere we turn. Don’t even try to tell me you ignore it, you don’t watch tv or go online. It doesn’t matter. You get gas for you car, you go grocery shop, you leave the fucking house. It surrounds us, it’s in us. Some people are better at resisting the urges, but the pull’s always there, unless of course you live in a small town, a really small town. Forgot to mention sure there’s places you probably can escape. But it’s really not going to happen in any average to large size city. Yep products of our environment. Good to recognize, keep it in check, don’t feel so guilty but don’t get so fully sucked into it. When I do I buy something I can’t afford. Like my $200 Habitual jeans. Because I had to have them, right then and there, instantly, because I wanted to feel good, because I was feeling let down by people, so the consumerist act cleansed me. Dangerous. But I am able to resist such urges very well most times. And now I have another pair of jeans that make me feel sexy sometimes. Man, where I am going with this???
War….I hate our foreign policy. But I don’t want to live anywhere else besides maybe a few cities in Europe or Sydney, NSW, Australia. I like my American conveniences damn it. I don’t want to run through rubble. I don’t want my lame building to be bombed. I’m too privileged. But what can I do? I don’t really have extra money to send to the Red Cross or anything right now, and I don’t know how trustworthy such organizations are, as they seemed to be engaged in some scamming after Katrina. I can self reflect I guess. I can educate myself. I don’t understand Hazzabullah (sp) and I need to find a resource to explain it to me. I have to combat my angst, anxiety, and lethargy. This whole past week has been boozing and socializing and TV watching. I was attempting to shut my brain up. America makes it easier to do nothing than something. That’s the part that’s hardest to resist.
posted by Jen Threat at
9:12 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home