It's Time for the Vacillator!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Banning the "N" word
I was listening to that writer from MJS, Eugene Kane, talk about banning the "n" word in public schools this morning on the Idea network (somewhat different from NPR, and their stories seem more interesting from what I've heard--90.7). He came up with the idea after the Michael Richards incident. Politicians like Maxine Waters are also calling for rappers to "voluntarily" stop using the word in their songs and in conversation/interviews.

Some callers pointed out that certainly the use of the word is not sanctioned at any school. Some people said that banning a word will not stop the use of it. Really, how can school officials know everytime a kid says it?

Personally, I think the whole thing is silly. I don't understand why, again, rap/rappers are being targeted. The one interesting point Kane did make about their use of the word, though, was that alot of non-blacks think it is okay to use the word (maybe not nigger, but nigga, but even still....) since rappers use it so freely. He thinks that if the word, in either form--er or a--I presume, was emitted less, less people would think about using it inappropriately. He also thinks that blacks need to ensure they are educated about the historical context of the word.

Personally, I take it as a given that even if I hear rappers using either form of the word, that doesn't give me the right to use it. I become irritated/embarrassed when white folks say "What up nigga?" or shout out the N word while singing along to some song, or even worse, when they go on diatribes about how "there are black people, and there are niggers." However, I never really considered the idea that some white people are just less educated about the word and really think rappers' uses of it validate their own casual, not necessarily racist but perhaps unnecessary or naive use of it.

In any case, I don't think that banning the word is going to stop anyone like Richards from being racist. I also think that it's ridiculous that rappers always seem to take the blame for societal ills. I think some of their focus on bling gets old and doesn't send a good message to listeners--having a lot of material goods isn't the key to happiness--but there are so many rappers that have a positive message, too. We just need to address the fact that our society is still really racist, but to me, that's certainly not a surprise.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Monday, November 27, 2006


Reading

I have been reading more and it feels so good. I'm almost getting back that old feeling that crept over me everytime I started upon a new book, pre data entry and copy editing jobs. I just finished Lisa Carver's Drugs are Nice. I recommend it. At first I was put off by the more polished writing style, but that feeling quickly faded. It was interesting to learn a bit more about her psychology, as I've been saying to people. There is also one section I felt I could really relate to, and I will probably email her about it. If you don't know who she is, she used to write the Rollerderby zine (the second ever personal 'zine) and play for this band Suckdog, who a work friend of mine in Chicago loved and went to see once at the Lounge Ax. I didn't know much about Carver then, but now I'm really curious to check out the Suckumentary. I wonder if Riverwest Film and Video has it....hmmm.

Before that I read Perks of Being a Wallflower. Did I write about that here? Well, if not, it's a teeny bopper book that was published by MTV/Pocket Books, my favorite cheesy imprint (I scored one of the titles I haven't read yet at Half Price last night! And I highly recommend Brave New Girl by Louisa Luna--she quotes Pixies songs throughout and you will really feel like high school when you read it). The book is about this kid who is a dweeb but is really introspective and hooks up with an older crew of friends. He's passive aggressive and smart. I thought it was okay. It, too, made me feel high school in a severe way, and I thought, dang, I could write a book like this. But I am blocked because I can't choose a focus.

Before that I read Pure Mania by Stewart Home. Fuck, I can NOT rememeber if I wrote about that. It's filled with great observations of the pc punk scene in England and it parodies the scene. Good shit.

Last night I scored Carver's book Dancing Queen, which is her ode to tacky Americana, along with the aforementioned MTV/Pocket Books books, Lester Bangs' Psychotic Carbuerator or whatever it is called, and this book On Love by Alain de Bottom. I wanted to write tonight but I feel schizo so I am going to read that now so I can hurry up and finish it and give it to my dear, sweet friend. I was just going to give it to him--I bought it for him--but the first, oddly numbered paragraph sucked me in.

It says (in part): "The longing for a destiny is nowhere stronger than in our romantic life. All too often we are forced to share our bed with those who cannot fathom our soul...Can we not be excused a superstitious faithin a creature who will prove the solution to our relentless yearnings?"


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Sunday, November 26, 2006


Purging

Selling books today. I've carried many of them around for the past nine years. Holding onto my undergrad education. Thinking, "I can't get rid of those; I'll need them again someday." Books I bought because I should have them to be smart. Never read them. On the shelves, fulling intending...It's time to let it all go. I am past the point of forcing myself to read something, even if I'd learn from it. I want to pick up a book because I feel like it, not to prove something to myself. Plus I am broke. I made $103.00 from Ecampus.com. Most of the books were free to me or cheap. I sold a $70 Norton collection of critical theory for $23 that I got free from some girl who worked for them when I was going to grad school. I cringed a bit adding that one to my "buyback list," but if I want to read any more Butler or Kristeva, I can find a way to do so. Library, online. I just need cash. And less shit in my house. I don't want to collect things. I'm going to go to Halfprice in a minute because I just have to get more things out of here, even though they're a bit of a scam. It's so strange. I feel a little shakey. I'm selling/giving some of myself away. And I'm listening to fucking Death Cab for Cutie and I never thought I would like them. I hope I'm not turning emo again.

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Wednesday, November 22, 2006


Politics

During our class discussion on the media's coverage of celebrity "news" last week, I told my students about a comment this British guy made to me a few months back.

We were at the wine bar in Shorewood. He was amazed that he hadn't overheard anyone talking about the war, and he mentioned that in Britian, people tend to discuss current events at the pub. To him, it seemed that Americans were more interested in gossiping and talking about celebrities.

I think this is true among many Americans, although not all. I know a lot of people who discuss current affairs, and I know that in London, at least, the paparazzi are just as intrusive as they are here. However, culturally, many Americans have more immediate knowledge of what is up in Britney's world than they regarding the war in Iraq or the crisis in Dafur. As one of my students pointed out, it's because the media focuses more on trivial news than it does on more important issues.

Clearly, such observations are not unique, but I think it's sad that America's culture is so obsessed with fame, money, and celeb status, and I think it's sad that I have to dig deeper to learn about what is going on in Dafur than I do to discover the latest goings on with JLo.

I am trying to make a commitment to staying more informed. One of my problems has been accessing websites that are easy for me to navigate. Most site layouts boggle me. However, I recently signed up for the New York Times headlines of the day. The format is easy for me to read, and I can just click on the stories that interest me. If I go to their site, though, my eyes just start to cross and I jump back onto Myspace like a lame-o.

I wonder what other sources people find valuable, besides email list servs. I wonder if our culture will ever change. I love TV and a bit of celebrity gossip, as it washes away the stress of the day. However, I think it will be beneficial for me to make an effort to keep up with politics because I want to have more to talk about than celebrities.

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Wednesday, November 15, 2006


Emotional and grammatically incorrect

Affection so fleeting it's the small things that awaken. An incidental touch by a young one drawn to certain silver accoutrements he shows concern, shoots a defensive look at another who disrespects. The touch, the concern, the look, so innocent, so sincere. Feeling liked maybe even admired so infrequently there's always a complication, this situation is worse much worse but there's something that feels so much easier. So aware of consequences, behavior in check must control. So many times maybe could've said not going to control it would've been okay. This time would be the worst time to lose control not losing control just love feeling a little alive alive a little, fuck the melancholy, constant melancholy. Moments are never right, right? Get it but if not one hundred percent, at least a moment with less severe consequences. When will it be mine?

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Monday, November 13, 2006


south park

There's an episode where they parody the James Frey (sp)/A Million Little Pieces/Oprah controversy, but the author of the book (entitled A Million Little Fibers) is a towel, but Oprah can not tell he is a towel, but when she finds out he's a towel, she goes ballastic and encourages her audience to torch him. Meanwhile, her pussy and asshole are all pissed off because they haven't been prodded enough lately. They have these weird male Scottish/British voices. Oprah's pussy (minge) takes her and everyone else hostage, and all of a sudden there's a gun pointing out from her crotch, and....well then they end up shooting out her crotch and asshole, I think. I went in the other room. It got a little misogynistic there, especially the line about it being "the most unruly vagina I've encountered" or whatever that cop said, but overall pretty ballsy and hilarious. That controversy highly irritated me because it was so apparent Oprah was only pissed because dude made her look dumb. She went off on him and his publisher.

You're a towel. No, YOU'RE a towel! HA!